Cleveland Browns 2022 Season Preview: The Fans Deserve Better
This has not been an easy offseason to be a Cleveland Browns fan and that’s saying a lot. This is a franchise that has put together some of the most chaotic and controversial offseasons in NFL history. Just look at this list of things that have happened in the last two decades:
2003 – William Green stabbed by fiancé in domestic dispute
2005 – Kellen Winslow Jr crashes motorcycle tearing ACL
2006 – LeCharles Bentley has season ending knee injury on first play of camp
2008 – Braylon Edwards gets foot cut open while running barefoot at training camp
2009 – Dante Stallworth kills a man while driving drunk
2014 – Jimmy Haslam’s Pilot Flying J in embroiled in fuel rebate scandal
2014 – Josh Gordon arrested for DUI and suspended a year (reduced to 10 games)
2014 – Johnny Manziel drafted
2014 – Johnny Manziel rides a swan with champagne
2015 – Johnny Manziel enters rehab
2015 – Josh Gordon suspended for another year and is never a factor again
2016 – Johnny Manziel out the NFL
2018 – Fans hold an 0-16 parade to mock the team
2020 – Team livestreams an open-casket funeral for their mascot Swagger the dog.
You get the point. I can even go back to Andre Rison’s house being burnt down by Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes (RIP) in 1994 to illustrate how long this team has been a shit show.
The Browns are the loser cousin of the NFL. Everyone knows they are a fuck up and roll their eyes when they “go for a quick walk” at Thanksgiving. No matter how much you try to focus on the good old days before they were covered in face tattoos and had a rap sheet the length of a CVS receipt, the reality is always staring you in the face.
Jim Brown and Otto Graham have been out of the league for well over half a century and the Browns have still never been to a Super Bowl. Desperation, being the pungent scent that it is, seemingly forced Jimmy Haslam and his front office to jettison Baker Mayfield and make a move for Deshaun Watson despite him facing 24 civil suits alleging various degrees of sexual misconduct. Even Al Davis is in the afterlife wondering if the Browns took him a little too literally.
This is all a long preamble for me to say that we, as fans of our beloved Cleveland Browns, are sick of this bullshit. No matter how you might feel about Deshuan Watson, none of us called the Texans to negotiate the trade and none of us guaranteed the deal. We just want to root for the team that we grew up loving despite it treating us so poorly for so many years.
I know there are some dickheads who have held signs with their kids or sold shitty shirts and they will get all the headlines. But that is such a miniscule portion of the fanbase. Those people exist in every city, root for every team, and are easy to illuminate once their idiocy rears its ugly incel head. A perfect target to dunk on and in our social media world.
Or maybe you think, “then just don’t root for the team.” That seems simple enough and I know quite a few people who are choosing to take that route. I respect their decision. But far more are like me and cannot simply quit something that is closer to religion then it is a sport. One of my earliest memories is my mom taking me to Municipal Stadium for a Browns and Raiders game and watching fans throwing dog treats at anyone wearing black. It sounds messed up but it seemed so cool to me.
It's something about the camaraderie. The lovable loser mentality. The “we’ll get em’ next year” that lures you in and never lets go. The allure of being a part of it all when they finally do break through.
Think about the sad sack sitting alone at the casino putting his last few dollars in the slot machine. He’s never won, never will win, and yet he has given up everything else in his life to chase this dream. Because if he actually ever does win it will mean that much more.
It's in our genetics and passed down from our fathers like good hair, blue eyes, or - maybe more appropriately - cancer. At some point the outcome of the games means less than the act of caring about them. What would your old man think if you just walked away from this team? Couldn’t be me.
Just listen to Jeff D. Lowe explain how his dad got him hooked on the Browns.
He’s going to spread his old man’s ashes by the stadium. The stadium of a team that has recently had a stretch of 1-31 football and has not won in Week 1 since 2004. Well Mr. Lowe, I know you’ll be high-fiving Queen Elizabeth up above as the Browns finally break that streak and start 1-0 after beating the Carolina Panthers on Sunday.
The Path To The Playoffs
Everyone knows Watson is suspended for the first 11 games of the season. Realistically, the Browns need to go 5-6 at the very minimum to give them a shot at 9 or 10 wins and the playoffs in a brutal AFC.
That starts with going 1-0 by defeating Baker Mayfield and the Panthers on Sunday. As the game nears I am growing increasingly confident. And as Carolina fans will soon find out, the more confident Baker is and the more focused he is on things off the field, the worse off they will be.
In the last 9 days Baker has supposedly told a sideline reporter that he will “fuck them up” and launched a merch line that looks like a shitty bar crawl t-shirt.
Advantage Myles Garrett, Jadeveon Clowney, and the Browns defense. When Baker is reciting rap lyrics in his postgame press conferences or jawing with reporters his play reflects that mindset. Emotional and careless. I expect the Browns to win an ugly one.
After that they have a three game stretch against vs the Jets, vs Pittsburgh, and at Atlanta. They just need to go 2-1 in those three games.
The next seven games, however, is a gauntlet. Chargers, Pats, @ Ravens, Bengals, Bye, @ Miami, and @ Buffalo. The goal is to steal at least two games in this stretch. Somehow get three and you’re in damn good shape with Watson returning against Houston.
That leaves the final six weeks where Deshaun will have to return, tune out all the chants, questions, and criticism and win 4 to 5 games. Not an easy task but also not insurmountable considering his talent and the schedule. 9 to 10 wins is realistic and would have them flirting with a playoff spot.
Kevin Stefanski will be able to open up the offense and spread out teams as effectively as anyone in the NFL once his starting QB returns. Just look at this graph of QB effectiveness out of empty sets from 2019-2021.
That’s just silly. So if the Browns get to the playoffs and Watson has 6 games under his belt, watch out.
What To Expect From Jacoby Brissett
You know that friend in high school who was never allowed to drive his friends around in his car, always had to be home at a decent time, and went to the whatever mediocre state college was within driving distance? He’s probably an accountant or pharmacist now and it’s a huge pain in the ass to schedule your fantasy draft because he always has to check with his wife. That is Brissett.
He doesn’t take risks but he also doesn’t fuck up. He’s totally ok with being ok. And if the Browns rushing attack and defense are as advertised (both with the talent to be best in the league) then ok should be plenty good enough.
These numbers bode really well for David Njoku and his new monster contract. I would probably steer clear of any offensive player props but I think if you were betting on anyone it would be him and Kareem Hunt.
The Browns need Nick Chubb for all 11 games so you can expect a healthy dose of Hunt week in and week out. And after his one day training camp hold-in we know he is looking for a big contract. This will be his shot to go out and earn it.
Best Case Scenario Vs. Worst Case Scenario
The best case for the Browns is Brissett leading them to 5-6 wins in the first 11 games (completely doable) and then Watson coming back and looking like the elite quarterback of old. If those two things happen the Browns will not only be in the playoffs but will be dangerous to whoever they might face.
The worst case scenario is that opposing defenses load the box and dare Brissett to throw for the first 11 games (which they will definitely do) and he isn’t able to have much success. That would lead to 3 or 4 wins in the first 11 games. And then, even with Watson coming back, their playoff hopes would be all but dead.
But even the worst case scenario isn’t THAT bad. Yes this is a roster that is built to win now, and yes that would be wasting another year of Myles Garrett and Nick Chubb, but the Browns made the move for five years of Watson not one. The window will be open and the Browns have the second youngest roster in the NFL.
While fans won’t want to hear it, the future is still bright (on paper).
Prediction
My heart says 10-7. They will stay afloat and get 6 wins with Brissett. That would give Watson the cushion he needs to shake off rust while snagging 4 more wins and a playoff spot.
My head says 8-9 for a second season in a row, which won’t be good enough for a playoff spot. While the run game and defense are plenty talented to keep them afloat, they will figure out a way to Browns it up and only go 4-7 under Brissett. That leaves Watson with too steep of a mountain to climb in the final stretch.
The only thing I know for sure…I’ll see you all in the muni-lot.